Preparing

I am always preparing, though it is a rarity that I actually am prepared. My life is now, and has always been, preparations and the many facets of such. Preparing to be a grown up, to have a teaching career, design daily lessons, readings, assignments, grading, and comments. Preparing to have a wedding, to be a wife, to have baby- all that preparing for a baby could never have made me actually prepared to be a mother. After a baby, or two, the preparing reaches new levels of intensity.

I gather my thoughts, write notes, make lists, organize and reorganize my space, my husbands things, my children’s things, my things – clothing, clothing, clothing, laundry, laundry, laundry…

I organize my time in an effort to prepare efficiently- for breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner, play-dates, out of town company, dance class, grocery trips, bedtime routines, bills, paychecks, savings, holidays, trips… the list goes on and on. The preparations go on and on.

The joyful moments even feel somehow planned, organized and in an endless cycle of needing to be prepared for. Not that it makes them less, it just is. Some of my favorite joyful moments are spent in my craft room, either creating with my daughters or having some “me time.”

I have spent years cultivating tools, materials, machines, supplies and the space to just sit and create. The preparation for creative expression doesn’t end or begin on my craft table, it is couponing, garage sailing(?) sale-ing (the act of going from sale to sale and buying up anything from costume jewelry to  doilies, really anything I think I might want to make into something someday) pinterest boarding, youtube tutorial viewing and finally getting ALL other obligations, meals, chores and childcare needs taken care of. Then, if I am still feeling that spark of inspiration, I let it lead the way.

To be able to design, play and make what I feel like making? The preparations have taken a lifetime- and still there’s an ever present want to have more time, knowledge and materials at my fingertips.

Heading into the season of holidays, I feel excited, inspired and chomping at the bit to get some of that precious creating time. The Halloween costumes, Thanksgiving decor and Christmas gift ideas dance through my mind continually.

Though I have taken a slight hiatus from blogging I have now returned, my jars of buttons, drawers of decorative papers, baskets of yarn and bins of fabric by my side. In the coming weeks I will share with you several ideas that help me get in the spirit, gift some magic and feel all sparkly in these darkening days.

Before I go completely DYI diva maverick with my supplies- and I will, Gloria needs a snugly new blanket, and so do I.  Tune in for that tutorial this week- easy as pie- I promise.

Right now I feel, dare I say? Prepared.

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